As for Me and My House, We Won’t Serve the Lord

Not a day goes by when I don’t worry about how I will live when I’m independent. I’m the third of four sisters; the two oldest are married and the youngest is still in school. My oldest sister teaches at a Lutheran elementary school and her husband is an LCMS pastor. My mother is the organist at our home church, so between coming home from school and visiting my sister, any time I go to church, I’m in for multiple services at a time. I can’t help but look forward to the future when I’m married, I have my own family, and I can choose to not set an alarm for Sunday mornings. A girl can dream, right? Continue reading “As for Me and My House, We Won’t Serve the Lord”

My First Time Reading Matt Walsh

My Facebook news feed is always chock full of every kind of Christian quote, post, article, share, and event possible. A few weeks ago, I noticed that a few of my Facebook friends were liking and sharing statuses and links from someone named Matt Walsh. At first I thought it might be some popular guy from school that everyone knew except for me, but after clicking on his profile, I saw that he was in fact a well-known blogger for The Blaze. That’s when it all went downhill and I discovered the writings of one of most hateful, bigoted, close-minded, judgmental people I have ever heard of. Continue reading “My First Time Reading Matt Walsh”

A Look at a Lutheran Doctrine

Some questions that atheists and skeptics are commonly asked are “Why do you only criticize certain religions?” or “What do you have against Christianity specifically?” For me, the answer is that Christianity is by far the most popular religion in the United States, and I see it everywhere, whether it is at home, at school, or out in public. Specifically, my family are members and leaders in different congregations of the Lutheran Church—Missouri Synod, or LCMS.

The LCMS is the second largest branch of the Lutheran Church, and it has almost 2.1 million baptized members (including me). I’ve grown up with the ultra-conservative LCMS teachings since I was a baby, but until about last week, I dared not read into the details of its doctrine. After reading for a while on Wikipedia, I came across A Brief Statement of the Doctrinal Position of the Missouri Synod, a concise but clear summary of LCMS teachings written by Franz August Otto Pieper in 1932. I want to highlight some sections of the Statement that thoroughly dumbfounded me and truly left me at a loss for words, especially knowing that my own family and many of our close friends actually believe these ideas. Continue reading “A Look at a Lutheran Doctrine”

8 Thoughts on December 25th

Merry Christmas! Since Christmas happens to be on my blogging day for my first year on my blog, I knew I wanted my post to center around my experience of Christmas and the Christmas season. I have been playing around with topics and trying to write this post for a few days, but I couldn’t come up with anything worth more than a paragraph or two, so instead I thought I’d write out some thoughts, experiences, and Christmas traditions that I’ve had, in no particular order. Continue reading “8 Thoughts on December 25th”

Coming out to My Roommates

I may have only started using the term “closet atheist” recently, but I have been a non-Christian living a Christian life for about ten years. During most of my deconversion time, I told myself that never ever in a million years would I ever tell anyone that I wasn’t a Christian. If I had stayed the apathetic nonbeliever that I was in my teens, not really caring one way or another, it might not have been that hard, but the more it becomes an integral part of who you are and how you think, the harder it is to keep private.

I mentioned in my first post that my boyfriend is also an atheist. Until recently, he was the only person that I had ever told. We have been together for a little over three and a half years, and I think that I told him about a year into our relationship. It took a lot of trust because I didn’t know what his beliefs were, but the bubble that I was raised in caused me to almost assume that everyone I came across was a Christian unless they told me otherwise. Back then, I wasn’t using the word “atheist” yet, and I wasn’t too comfortable thinking or talking about it, so when I “came out” to him over the phone, it went a little like this: Continue reading “Coming out to My Roommates”

Journey to Atheism: Part 2

I was planning to attend this college since I was young. My mother knew it would be perfect for me with the Christian atmosphere, rigorous academics, and the location. I knew that there was a heavy Christian foundation here, but I figured that it wouldn’t be too bad and the good would outweigh the negatives. If I could choose schools again, I don’t know if I still would have come here, although the atmosphere and the coursework have grown my interest in atheism and influenced this self-discovery immensely.

My college has a series of 6 Christian-worldview-based core humanities classes and one Science and Faith course. As it turns out, these classes have become some of my favorites because they can infuriate me, make me consider what Christians believe and what I believe, and show me the good and bad of both sides. Continue reading “Journey to Atheism: Part 2”

Journey to Atheism: Part 1

When I was a child, I believed in Jesus. I couldn’t wrap my head around how he worked or what he could do, but my mom told me he loved me, so I thought, cool, I love him too. Once she told me that when I got older I would see much greater things that God could do than what I could even imagine. Obviously, I’m not as impressed as she thought I would be, but I do know a lot more about God now than I did then. Continue reading “Journey to Atheism: Part 1”

I Am an Atheist

I am an atheist.

Up until a matter of weeks ago, I was unable to string those four words together in that order. There was no doubt that I was an atheist, but I couldn’t bring myself to say it. It sounded fake. All day long I live, act, and speak as a Christian, hearing about the evils of atheism. I’m so dishonest with everyone I come in contact with, save for my loving atheist boyfriend, that when I’m alone I can barely be honest with myself. “What are you?” he would ask me when everyone was out of earshot. Continue reading “I Am an Atheist”