After four long and miserable years, I finally escaped from this mind-prison of a school once and for all at my graduation on May 19th. As far as I am concerned, this college has achieved the opposite of its goal of “nurturing my walk with Christ.” Instead, it accidentally shaped me into the dedicated atheist that I am today. It was the pivotal point in my life that pushed me from agnosticism all the way to atheism, to this blog, and out of the closet. Continue reading “My Christian College Experience”
I know that one can control their being an atheist more than they could control being gay. We don’t have any control over our sexual orientation. But the control that we have over what we believe is more complex than “none at all”. In my opinion, I can control what I read and what information and arguments I choose to expose myself to. I can deliberate on what makes the most sense, or if I see some sense in both sides of an argument, I will usually choose to dig deeper on the topic until I find a more concrete answer. What I can’t control is what conclusion I come to.Continue reading “Is Atheism a Choice?”
I wrote in January about the events that led up to my untimely coming out conversation with my mother. First, my fiance’s and my “immoral” private life was leaked, which led to my family expecting us to stop and being appalled when we refused to apologize. This ended in me coming out to my mother as an atheist as a way to provide some explanation for why we didn’t play by her Lutheran rules. After talking to her and to my oldest sister, the wife of a pastor, my fiance and I safely assumed that her pastor-husband would have moral qualms, if not strict religious restrictions, from marrying together two dirty sinners such as the two of us, as had been our original plan. We informed him that we had decided to go a more secular way—getting married at our reception hall using a non-pastor officiant—to avoid this cognitive dissonance. Continue reading “Coming Out to My Sister and Her Husband”
Usually, when I write about my Christian college experience, it’s about coming out to friends or classmates, or about insane Christian teachers who would probably have gotten fired if the college had actually known what they’re teaching to students. Only once before have I dedicated a post to the atmosphere itself of my private Christian college.
“After all, other than attending chapel, we aren’t required to fast, read the bible, or go to bible study or church. “How bad can it be?’ says the Christian student attending the Christian college.”
The Closet Atheist, A Fish out of Water
If you’ve been following my story over the past month, then you’ll know that my proverbial closet door kind of got bust open by a leaked secret, and I ended up telling my mom I’m an atheist. On the chance that you indeed have been reading my story, then you are probably curious about what happened next. Continue reading “My Mom Thinks I’m Crazy”
I didn’t plan to come out on January 3rd, 2018. It was supposed to happen a year from now. I’d be married and living in my own house with my husband; the wedding would be out of the way after I patiently waited until arriving at adulthood unscathed. There would be a gradual and logical buildup: first I tell my younger sister, then my older sisters and their husbands, and finally my mother. I would take my husband to my mother’s house, we would tell her together, and we would leave her to process the news without us there. Continue reading “Coming Out to My Mother”
This shouldn’t come at much of a surprise. That being said, lately, it seems as though there are Christians acting not-so-Christian all around me: from my apologetics teacher to the girl I talked about last week. A lot of Christians that I meet and hear from are very closed-off when it comes to people who don’t agree with them. It’s people like them to keep me locked in the closet. In different posts before, I’ve talked about how I determine whether someone would react well if I come out to them and whether or not I’d be comfortable doing it. Continue reading “Not All Christians Are Bigots”
Usually, when people find out that I’m an atheist, they don’t let the difference get in the way of a good relationship. Meeting someone who believes differently than you is an amazing opportunity to learn about a culture outside of your own and find common ground in a place where you might not expect it. It’s uncommon for me to try to make a connection with someone with different beliefs only to be completely cut off, but it does happen. Let me give you the breakdown of a time when this happened to me.
Almost a year ago, my wonderful fiancé (boyfriend at the time) wrote a guest post for me about his journey away from religion through his life. Here, he has further expanded on how the lack of religion has impacted his experience at his secular university.
Warning: What you are about to read is an account of my experience at a secular university, which some may find very disturbing.
If you’ve read any of my blog posts about my life before, then you’ll know that one of my greatest struggles is my fear of coming out to the world as an atheist. Through writing and talking to my readers, I’ve somewhat made a plan for coming out, and I know a little about what to do, who I can tell, and who I should wait to tell. Continue reading “The Fear of Coming Out as Atheist”