I’ve come out as atheist to college friends, two of my sisters and their husbands, and my parents. All of them were, and are, Christian, but even so, every conversation went differently. Most of these coming-out stories are documented here, and in the big picture, they went alright. They certainly could have gone much worse, but at the same time, I would not want to ever relive that time in my life. I had a list in my head of who knew and who didn’t know, and once I told someone and had that weight lifted, it was only so long until I would have to tell the next person.
If someone you know has just told you that they’re an atheist, just know that it was probably at least just as hard for them as it is for you. But there are a few things you can do that will make this time easier for everyone.
Continue reading “6 Things to Do If Someone Comes Out to You as Atheist”
Two and a half years ago, I told you, my readers, something that I had only ever told one person before.
I am an atheist. Continue reading “I’m Coming Out to You”
I know that one can control their being an atheist more than they could control being gay. We don’t have any control over our sexual orientation. But the control that we have over what we believe is more complex than “none at all”. In my opinion, I can control what I read and what information and arguments I choose to expose myself to. I can deliberate on what makes the most sense, or if I see some sense in both sides of an argument, I will usually choose to dig deeper on the topic until I find a more concrete answer. What I can’t control is what conclusion I come to.
Continue reading “Is Atheism a Choice?”
I wrote in January about the events that led up to my untimely coming out conversation with my mother. First, my fiance’s and my “immoral” private life was leaked, which led to my family expecting us to stop and being appalled when we refused to apologize. This ended in me coming out to my mother as an atheist as a way to provide some explanation for why we didn’t play by her Lutheran rules. After talking to her and to my oldest sister, the wife of a pastor, my fiance and I safely assumed that her pastor-husband would have moral qualms, if not strict religious restrictions, from marrying together two dirty sinners such as the two of us, as had been our original plan. We informed him that we had decided to go a more secular way—getting married at our reception hall using a non-pastor officiant—to avoid this cognitive dissonance. Continue reading “Coming Out to My Sister and Her Husband”
If you’ve been following my story over the past month, then you’ll know that my proverbial closet door kind of got bust open by a leaked secret, and I ended up telling my mom I’m an atheist. On the chance that you indeed have been reading my story, then you are probably curious about what happened next. Continue reading “My Mom Thinks I’m Crazy”
I didn’t plan to come out on January 3rd, 2018. It was supposed to happen a year from now. I’d be married and living in my own house with my husband; the wedding would be out of the way after I patiently waited until arriving at adulthood unscathed. There would be a gradual and logical buildup: first I tell my younger sister, then my older sisters and their husbands, and finally my mother. I would take my husband to my mother’s house, we would tell her together, and we would leave her to process the news without us there. Continue reading “Coming Out to My Mother”
This shouldn’t come at much of a surprise. That being said, lately, it seems as though there are Christians acting not-so-Christian all around me: from my apologetics teacher to the girl I talked about last week. A lot of Christians that I meet and hear from are very closed-off when it comes to people who don’t agree with them. It’s people like them to keep me locked in the closet. In different posts before, I’ve talked about how I determine whether someone would react well if I come out to them and whether or not I’d be comfortable doing it. Continue reading “Not All Christians Are Bigots”
If you’ve read any of my blog posts about my life before, then you’ll know that one of my greatest struggles is my fear of coming out to the world as an atheist. Through writing and talking to my readers, I’ve somewhat made a plan for coming out, and I know a little about what to do, who I can tell, and who I should wait to tell. Continue reading “The Fear of Coming Out as Atheist”
There are a lot of reasons why I don’t share my name, face, or location here on my blog. In addition to the glaringly obvious, that I’m a closet atheist so no one should know who I am because that would defeat the “closet” part, it’s also because this blog has a lot of raw, personal stories. One of these stories is unfolding right now, and as terrible, personal, and depressing as it is, I decided to share it with 400 strangers who follow my blog. Hooray! Continue reading “Your God, Not Mine”
This week, I did something really insane. I’m in a class about culture, and we had a project which was to give a presentation about our cultural identity. In an attempt to be honest, I stood up in front of the really big classroom and announced that I’m a closet atheist. It was terrifying, but fine because I took into consideration that no one in the class is a very close friend of mine in a relationship that could be potentially jeopardized by this information. I’ve talked before, though, about whether or not I’m ready to come out more at school (actually, if you haven’t read that post yet, I advise that you read it before continuing here, as it will put my situation into much greater perspective). Continue reading “How to Tell Your Friends That You’re an Atheist”